SO. This one time, when I was roughly eighteen I went out with my two brothers, my then boyfriend, and my dad to an eighteen and over club to hang out. Of course it was winter, since it’s winter nine out of twelve months in Syracuse, NY we all had our coats on. Walking into the club we took them off to show off how awesome we all looked (we’re a great looking group of people – I have good genes) and we put our coats in a pile at a table.
I must say I had reservations about doing that but I was assured I had nothing to worry about so on we went to drink (I looked 21) and dance and have a grand old time on our Saturday night ritual.
Roughly two hours later we went back to the coats, I think my boyfriend wanted a smoke, only to find them gone. In a panic we all spread out to go look for them. Someone asked the door guy if he had seen them and he said he hadn’t. We then decided to take the search outside. Well that didn’t take long! The very first car we saw, parked RIGHT OUTSIDE THE MAIN DOOR was full of coats!
We talked about ways to get in there, smash the windows? Jimmy the locks? Then my brother discovered something – the doors were unlocked. The thieves must have been working quickly and didn’t want to have to worry about unlocking the car every time they jacked a coat. After popping the trunk we found all of our coats sitting right on top and helped ourselves to them. We were young and dumb and pissed so we also helped ourselves to a few others (I got a great leather jacket out of the deal).
I thought we were done at that point and were going to get in the getaway car my dad had ready for us all warmed up and ready to go but no, my brothers had a totally different idea. Again, they were punks and we were young. One brother brought a knife out and slashed the tires and the other kicked the windows in. I must say that was pretty badass, he jumped off the ground and his feet went through the windows and he didn’t land on his ass. He was a total ninja.
NOW we jumped in the getaway car and sped off. I can’t remember for sure but I think one of my brothers told the bouncer someone had vandalized a car on our way out. Ballsy. From what I understand, the bouncer was actually in on it so it was good that my brothers run fast or this story might be way longer.
Now comes the part that cracks me up. We were all pumped. Adrenaline flowing through us because we basically committed a crime (Statue of limitations has passed, I can totally tell this story lol) and we headed to a nearby gas station to buy some beers.
My father is a pretty straight edge guy. Been my role model since birth, I’ve never seen him do a thing wrong. He didn’t touch that car he simply drove his punk kids away from it, happy to have his coat back. That made what he did once we got to the gas station that much better – he jumped in a parked car next to us in the parking lot and stole their car lighter from their car because his was missing. I don’t think there will ever come a time when I won’t find that absolutely hilarious.
So there you have it! The time we stole the coats – our own coats. Needless to say we never went back to that club again, we found a new one to frequent and we learned to keep our coats locked up in our cars and just dealt with freezing from the walk to the car to the club. Ahh…my childhood. Thank God for therapy!